PERFECT WIFE: YOUR KICK START GUIDE

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As a woman in a marriageable age, you have to be careful and cautious. Here are a few important rules that will help get kick started on your life goal to be a good wife.

It is not an option to when it comes to bringing your hymen to the table (bed, to be literal)  in a marriage. The thin layer of skin is not yours just because it is in your body. Don’t act like you own your body. Your husband does. You owe it to him. And in an unfortunate case you are born without a hymen or you just happen to lose it, cut yourself and bleed a little into the sheets. Whatever happens, on your first night, there has to be blood on the sheets. Your true worth as a woman is in convincing your husband you are pure and that you are untouched.

If a man picks up his dirty plate, or even washes his underwear, you might as well just hang yourself because you are a disgrace. Disgrace to the mother that raised you, your father that paid him so he would let you be his wife. Never let a man do the household chores. It is your duty. Just because both of you are human beings does not mean you are allowed to treat your man as if you are both equal. He is superior.

If your husband is kind enough to let you work, do not take advantage of this generosity. Wake up early, cook the meals, clean his house, go to work and when you come back, do not complain of being tired. Be responsible. The minute he steps in, make sure you serve him hot coffee, press his legs and serve him dinner. The women that share household chores with their husbands were raised wrong. Do you want the world to think your parents are horrible people? After all the money they paid so you could marry him? Don’t do that to them.

When all your duties are attended to, you may go to bed. Don’t be silly, woman. You cannot sleep- not if your husband wants intercourse. If you don’t comply, he is going to have an affair. And that would not be his fault but yours because men have needs, unlike women. It doesn’t matter if you have slaved away the entire day, lay on your back and be a good wife. It is your duty.

One day, he will stop using protection. This means he is ready for a child. Are you ready? I was only kidding, that doesn’t matter. You pull yourself together and be ready for little human beings who are completely your responsibility. If he wants a baby, you shall give it to him. A girl if he wants a girl, a boy if he wants a boy. If you get it wrong, shame on you. It’s all your sins in the past life, not biology. Do not use science as an excuse. Just try again and this time, do it right. Remember, the purpose of your birth is so you can give birth and watch your children give birth.

Also, make sure you are not distracted by things like passion, dreams or love and you’ll do great. I hope these help you. Happy married life!
DISCLAIMER: The target of the article is to criticise the stereotypes, not men. I say this very proudly that it was a man that requested I write this article. I do not blame men for the inequality. I do not blame men for the stereotypes. I am a feminist and I am NOT anti- men or anti- family. I am only anti- stupidity.

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